Despedida de Soltera

María Moliner con un caganer catalan.

Porqué éramos solterones felices además eran las fiestas patronales de Barcelona y  cayo un aguacero que nos puso en evidencia terminamos finiquitando la cosa donde la comenzamos: en la casa de uno de nosotros de espalda a la Sagrada familia y haciendo una apología al merengue como género musical. Se acabo el Cava y vino el Gin, la novia se tomo el agua tónica y me dejó jodida teniendo que cambiar a ron a pepo y sin hielo. La cosa estaba densa ya habíamos pasado a cosas heavies estábamos escuchando Mocedades y gritando amor de hombre cuando llegamos al punto en el que se ven los borrachos de los sobrevivientes. Yo todavía no sé de qué lado estaba, pero fue la novia la que empezó la discusión sobre las lenguas. Ella como protagonista de la noche ya nos había cantado nuestras cuatro verdades pasando por cuanto nos quería y además nos estaba obligado a poner Julio Jaramillo en el spotify. La novia mueve la cabeza mientras habla, magnánima sus palabras con un pequeño temblor imperceptible que palpita en el acento de cada palabra, ella como muchas otras personas tiene aprecio por Manabí y de ese cariño construye esa bella imagen que tiene mucha gente de la tierra de donde es mi familia. Es verdad que Manabí es un lugar encantador, pero también es una tierra azotada por las estupideces de esas que se suele esconder tras el autobombo, yo siempre he sido un ingrata con mis patrias pero me parece que pecamos mucho de conformistas y que precisamente somos un pueblo que se celebra y repite mucho, para lo malo y para lo bueno.

Así que en la mitad de la sala a las cuatro de la mañana, llego la lengua manaba, este “dialecto” (aunque llamar así a una lengua por estos lados es una falta de caché) libre de academias, virgen, vivo y honesto. Yo que siempre había pensado como la novia, aunque me he documentado sobre la batalla del “uso” contra el sistema y las leyes y que llevo la defensa  del uso ante todo como defiendo a un personaje antes que cualquier regla física, gramatical o civil; esa noche me le abalance a pelearla fue un espasmo y entendí que el Manaba si necesite una gramática, que se la catalogue y se la normativice porqué se me ocurre que sería una de las maneras en las que podríamos ponernos en evidencia  para entender practicas absurdas o al menos catalogarlas como absurdas para mejorar. La gramática es un arma, no una forma de exclusión, tenemos que conquistar el método… ¿chuchatumadre quien se acabo  la tónica si quedaba media botella? … yo , valí verga , perdón.

Todos sabemos lo difícil que es traer la sabiduría que nos invade en la borrachera al mundo real, pero desde esta noche no he dejado de pensar en los matrónimos, los estados civiles y su gramática. Siento que debo dejar esto por escrito solamente para plantarlo en mi memoria cuando pasé el chuchaquí, vamos a hablar de amor y de diccionarios de lo que me ha enseñado está gente hermosa, yo que siempre he pensado que el matrimonio es una forma violenta de posesión, dejo que todo se venga abajo con una bellísima manera de desobedecer, una trampa perfecta una buena manera de irse contra la ley, contra uno mismo y ponerse tacones y si hace falta bailar las grecas, entregarse es ejercicio solo le pertenece a la libertad.

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